The Yellow Rake

Woman Can’t Understand Why Boyfriend Has Such Bad Reaction To Flip-flops

Report: Vast Majority Of NPR Listeners Don’t Do Well In Fist Fights

The Cryptic Pro-God Messages On The Side Of The Dr. Bronner’s Bottle Changed My Life!

Life's A Party: Pants

Guy You Met Once At Party Working Through Some Intense Personal Shit On Facebook

Promoter Needs Band To Load In At Noon For 9 p.m. Start Time

Woman Disappointed To Eat Dry Tortilla Chip After Running Out Of Salsa

Mosquito-bitten, Sunburnt Man Not Doing Well On Quest To Enjoy Nature

Angels Make Endangered Species List As Climate Change Burns Off Clouds In Heaven

Denver Woman Visiting New York Has To Buy Weed On Street Like Some Kind Of Criminal

Soul Makes Break From Sneezing Body After No One In Direct Vicinity Says “Bless You”

“That’s What She Said” Guy Fucking Killing It On Trip To Hardware Store

Making Fun Of Ska The Only Time Inactive Indie Rock Fan Gets To Feel Like Hulking Badass

Daughter Extra Nice To Waitstaff To Counteract Wrath Of Parents During Family Outing

Aging Artist Still Hoping The People With The Money Will Tell Him He Can Quit Day Job And Be Famous Now

Man Who Forgot He Ate Pot Candy Before Work Wondering Why He’s In Good Mood All Of Sudden

Could We Please Not Talk About My Modest Mouse Phase?

Man Who Spent Late 20s Watching Friends Get Married Now Spending Late 30s Watching Them Get Divorced

Wendy’s New Meatless Chicken Nuggets Just An Empty Box

Man Wishes He Were More Like The Person He Pretends To Be On Instagram

Bagel Snob Picked Kind Of A Pathetic Thing To Be A Snob About

Librarian In Charge Of Whiteboard Must Be Reading Nietzsche Or Something

Etiquette Lesson

I Hope That Guy With The Minutemen Shirt Notices My Black Flag Hat

Used Cassette Deck Reveals Anthrax’s “I’m The Man” Has Not Held Up Well