THE PARK BY YOUR HOUSE THAT YOU DON’T GO TO ALL THAT OFTEN — Linda Mondt, a mild-mannered woman who just so happened to fall in love with an opinionated brute, can’t figure out why her boyfriend Vincent Hebner has such a visceral, negative reaction whenever he encounters people wearing flip flops, Mondt revealed after a Sunday trip to the park. “Oh my god, you should hear the things that come out of his mouth, bless his heart,” remarked Mondt, who displays multitudes of patience every day she spends with her boyfriend. “When he sees a pair of flip-flops on someone’s feet, he always says things like, ‘How could any self-respecting person leave the house like that?’ And, ‘I hope their feet get cut off by a lawnmower.’” After pausing for several moments to let out a long, sustained sigh, she added: “It’s just difficult for me to understand how anyone could get so worked up about the footwear choices of others.” When asked about his aversion to flip-flop clad park-goers, Hebner went on a 15-minute tirade that concluded with, “...and their stupid ugly feet!”
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