ENGLEWOOD, CO — The Denver Broncos placed the blame of their lackluster season on unenthusiastic supporter of the team and recently divorced former elevator repairman, Stan Bryant, the Broncos head coach Vic Fangio said at a press conference Sunday. “Look, Stan just isn’t cheering as hard as he used to,” Fangio claimed when asked to defend his team’s 6-9 record. “Back in 2015 when he was still making good money, married, and before he started listening to Jimmy Buffett, Stan would don his Peyton Manning jersey, drink a 12 pack of Coors Light, and yell at our players on his TV screen — and we went to the Super Bowl that year. But now, I mean look at him. He couldn’t successfully cheer a youth league team to victory.” Bryant, who admittedly has not been himself since losing his job and his faith that anything good will ever happen to him, promised to do his best to cheer harder, or at least, not to cry during future Bronco games.
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